How have you been feeling during lockdown? For most of us it has been challenging in different ways, and for some it has been more tough than for others.
The way you feel will depend on many factors such as whether you live alone or with others; whether you’ve been working, furloughed or even lost your job; whether you have a good support network; whether you are comfortable with your own company or prefer to be surrounded by others; what your relationship with yourself is like and your need for feeling in control.
And your feelings will likely have changed day to day, possibly even hour to hour.
I’ve been exploring some of the more ‘negative’ or ‘darker’ shades of RED that may have been at play.
Any of these sentiments feel familiar?
Reclusive - Emotional - Despondent
Resentful - Enraged - Disheartened
Repressed - Empty - Demoralised
If you’ve been experiencing any of these, either intermittently or regularly, over the last year you’re definitely not alone.
And even though we all want lockdown to end so that we can see the people we care about and take part in activities we enjoy, the idea of coming out of lockdown may also be causing some angst.
You may be worried about how safe you’ll be from the virus when people are mixing more in close proximity. You may be worried about how you might actually look someone in the eye after spending so much time communicating online. Or you may even be worried that you may have become a boring person with nothing interesting to say and not know how to have a ‘normal’ conversation!
Many people may have experienced an unexpected drop in self esteem and confidence, questioning their skills and ability to operate effectively once they are back in the workplace. And you might just be feeling anxious about life in general.
So, what to do about it?
Firstly, be kind to yourself. This is an extraordinary situation and we’re all doing the best we can under the circumstances. And that’s good enough at the moment. The more you start beating yourself up for the way you’ve handled the situation, or judging yourself for feeling low, or being annoyed that you didn’t achieve what you ‘should’ have over the past year, the worse you will feel. So just stop it. Be gentle with yourself.
Secondly, accept that you don’t have control over certain aspects of your life right now. Lisa Samet, author of ‘Emotional Repatterning: Healing Emotional Pain by Rewiring the Brain’ says that arguing with life is a losing strategy. The gap between how reality is and how we think it should be is actually where we experience all of our suffering, so we need to close the gap. And since we can’t change the reality, acceptance takes away all the arguing going on in our brain about the way things should be. Even just writing this makes me feel lighter!
Thirdly, we can make sure we take care of ourselves by doing what we can to manage our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
Physical
What are you doing to take care of your physical health? Are you exercising, eating well, getting out in the fresh air? Have your personal grooming standards slipped and do you need to make some changes to the way you show up for yourself each day? And while you’re considering what you’re doing, eating and wearing, think about what is going to make you feel physically safe as well in terms of wearing a mask, handwashing, etc.
Mental
What are you feeding your brain? When we are glued to the news channels we are constantly bombarded with doom and gloom and even though social media can be a fun place to connect with others and uplift our spirits, it can also be a very negative place too. Be aware of what you are reading and watching and nourish your brain with positivity – there is loads of it around if you take the time to look and start tuning into it. In line with this, check your self-talk too and change anything you find yourself saying that is negative and unhelpful to something more inspiring and empowering.
Emotional
Where are you getting your emotional support? Human beings are hardwired to be social and we need interaction with others. Even though we haven’t been able to see our friends and family in person, and many who live alone are craving human touch as well, it’s important to recognise that you may be feeling depleted due to the lack of connection. Reach out to others for support and don’t wait for them to contact you; they may be having a difficult time too and would welcome the contact.
Spiritual
Spiritual wellbeing relates to our sense of meaning and purpose and the current situation has certainly given us lots of time to think and question our existence. For some people, their faith plays a major part in supporting spiritual wellbeing. And we can all boost our spiritual health with activities such as yoga, mindfulness, meditation, writing and other creative endeavours. Reconnecting with the things that lift us up and make us feel alive can play a major part in our sense of spiritual wellness.
Finally, remember that we are making choices every moment of every day. We choose our thoughts, we choose what we focus on, we choose how we show up. So instead of those darker shades of RED mentioned above, why not try choosing a brighter, lighter, more vibrant shade of RED? Here are some ideas to help you to #BeMoreRED:
Refocused – Emboldened – Daring
Resilient – Enterprising – Disciplined
Remarkable – Empowered – Determined
What shade of RED will you choose and what will you do to help yourself to feel more positive and confident as we head out of lockdown?
If you need some help to reconnect with your confidence and self-esteem, click here to join The RED Effect programme, or email me for special offer on one-to-one confidence coaching.
Mel Sherwood is a Pitch and Presentation Specialist and Founder of The RED Effect. She works with entrepreneurs and business professionals who want to express themselves with confidence, credibility and charisma. Mel’s first book ‘The Authority Guide to Pitching Your Business’ was nominated for a Business Book of the Year Award, and she is currently working on her second book to be published in 2021. An Australian now based in Scotland, Mel is an award-winning speaker, trainer and coach and combines over 25 years’ experience in business with a background as an actor, presenter and singer.