What is the best advice you’ve ever been given about public speaking?
Many years ago, when I was first heading into the world of professional speaking, I attended a ‘Speaker Bootcamp’ run by the Professional Speaking Association (PSA).
At the time, probably in part due to my perfectionist tendencies and in part due to my background as an actor used to learning a script, my approach was to craft a beautifully written speech which I would then attempt to learn by heart and rehearse until I could deliver a natural ‘performance’. It worked to a point, and I always got great feedback; but it was completely unrealistic when I didn’t always have the time, it left me way out of my depth when I had to speak about something off the cuff and it left little room for me to properly engage with my audience, which for some bizarre reason I hadn’t considered!
So I turned up to the speaker bootcamp, having drafted and re-drafted my script several times, still clinging to my notes and nervously delivered my speech in front of the group (speaking in front of an audience of professional speakers has to be one of the most nerve wracking experiences as a speaker!)
After the polite applause when I finished, Peter Roper, one of the PSA Fellows running the session said, “Mel, I’ve only got two words of feedback for you… LET GO.” What he meant was that I needed to stop relying on my script and speak from my heart. I had to trust that I knew my topic and that the right words would come to me even though I feared my mind would go blank, or I would say too many ums and errs, or I would go off on a tangent or I would make a complete fool of myself (and let’s face it, losing our train of thought, being judged by our peers and making a fool of ourselves are big fears for the majority of us!)
I respectfully listened to the advice but had great trepidation about actually implementing it; learning a script was all I had ever known. The following evening I would be delivering the talk at an event for women in the finance industry so on the long train journey back to Edinburgh, I edited my script again based on all the things I had learned throughout that day with the intention of making it even more ‘perfect’. I was still reluctant to completely trust the advice but there was no doubt the words ‘let go’ were definitely playing on my mind.
The next morning, I happened to attend a yoga class (which I do very rarely) and the first thing the instructor said was, “Welcome everyone; today we’re going to… let go.” What??? As if that wasn’t enough of a nudge, as I was walking home past a playground, one child had the arm of another, and I heard the shout of “Let go!!!!” drifting my way. I took it as a sign from the universe that maybe I should at least give it a try, even though I was still really fearful about doing so.
Later that afternoon after a few more script edits and a lot of stressful rehearsal, I arrived at the venue notes in hand, ready to give my talk. Despite it being about confidence I wasn’t feeling very confident! I placed my notes where I could easily access them with the intention to deliver exactly what I had prepared.
However, at the last moment, I made a brave decision to ignore my notes and simply interact with the audience. I asked them questions and allowed my talk to unfold based on their input. They all reacted very positively and there were lots of laughs and nodding heads as I incorporated their contributions and shared my top tips on how to become more confident. After the session there was a real buzz in the room and numerous people wanted to speak with me afterwards to share how much they enjoyed the presentation and found the tips really valuable.
Reflecting on the talk afterwards I took a moment to re-read my carefully crafted script. I realised that whilst it had been a very well written piece for reading, we don’t speak the same way as we write; we actually speak in much shorter, punchier sentences. So not only would I have struggled to keep the audience’s attention if I delivered it in line with the script, the way it was written was also likely to be why it was difficult for me to memorise in the first place. The other big surprise was the realisation that I had actually included every single point I wanted to share; perhaps not in the perfectly scripted way I had intended but in a way that truly connected with people, allowed me to share my vulnerability and kept everyone fully engaged from start to finish.
This experience completely changed my presentation style for the better and clients now book me because of my relaxed, fun, engaging and interactive approach rather than for perfectly crafted, perfectly rehearsed and perfectly delivered speeches. It doesn’t mean that I don’t prepare, in fact I do a lot of preparation to ensure that my message is tailored to each specific audience, but because I’m no longer reliant on a perfectly worded script, I can adapt my approach and be fully present every time I present rather than being bound to words on a page, which is a far more effective way to communicate with audiences.
I often work with clients who are very attached to a script and, whilst I completely understand why they prefer the comfort of this approach, I share the same advice with them that I received all those years ago. If you’re also someone who is scared to ‘let go’, I urge you to give it a try; I guarantee it will free you from the crippling expectations of perfection and empower you to take your presentation skills to a whole new level.
Mel Sherwood is a Pitch and Presentation Specialist and Founder of The RED Effect™. She works with entrepreneurs and business professionals who want to express themselves with confidence, credibility and charisma. An Australian now based in Scotland, Mel is an award-winning speaker, trainer and coach and combines over 25 years’ experience in business with a background as an actor, presenter and singer.