Has a flippant comment from someone rocked your confidence?
When I was 8 years old, all I wanted to do was sing and dance and entertain audiences. I often put on shows for family and friends, or just wandered around the house presenting to be a famous opera singer (not sure where I had ever heard opera singing before; it was never played in our household!)
One day, our family had a visitor and, rather than encouraging me for my ambitious attempt, he put his hands up to his ears. Then he laughed and said, “Argh, you’re hurting my ears – you’ll never be a singer!”
In that moment, a little girl’s dreams were shattered.
I took that message to heart.
And despite my dream of being a musical theatre performer and having years of singing lessons in my teens, my voice hardly improved.
Because I never practiced…
Because I didn’t want the neighbours to hear me…
Because I didn’t want to hurt their ears too.
I was in my 20s when I first sung solo and, even then, it was with so much fear and anxiety that it held me back from auditioning for my dream roles and made singing excruciatingly stressful rather than happy and joyful.
Eventually, to my surprise, I ended up getting a professional singing job in a 60s girl band tribute show, but I always felt I was the weak link and feared hurting people's ears. So, while I enjoyed it, sadly it was always tinged with feelings of not being good enough.
I still get super nervous about singing and very rarely sing now that I’m not performing for a living.
But having felt that crippling stage fright, I can completely relate to my clients who fear giving presentations and thankfully I now have loads of tools and tips to help them to manage their public speaking nerves.
I may not have had enough talent to be a West End star, but I often wonder what course my life would have taken if I hadn’t been put off by a flippant comment I heard in my childhood.
If you’ve experienced something similar and it has rocked your confidence when it comes to speaking up in meetings or delivering presentations, get in touch to find out more about how my coaching programmes can help you.
Mel Sherwood is a Presentation Skills and Personal Impact Speaker, Founder of The RED Effect™ and Author of ‘The Authority Guide to Pitching Your Business: How to make an impact and be remembered - in under a minute!’ She works with ambitious business leaders, teams and individuals who want to express themselves with confidence, credibility and charisma. An Australian based in Scotland, Mel is an award-winning speaker, author and coach and combines over 25 years’ experience in business with a background as an actor, presenter and singer.